OR
The long haul to 12 Heintje
Hooksteeg and the Stairs of DOOM!
A grey Thursday morning
came overcast with a promise of sun. It
had rained all night, hopefully it stays clear for the trip to Garre du
Nord. The usual final check around after
the morning ablution, last item stowing, and it was, “Ciao & Merci, Yana”.
Once downstairs a call to
Uber scored a ride in 2 minutes. Now the
challenge was to jockey through rush hour traffic, which was a bit stiff, but
our excellent driver Amir got us there at the appointed time.
Getting from the car to
the station – in one piece – was another thing.
Every taxi, bus, delivery
truck, pedi-cab, tuk-tuk [yeah they even have those in Paris] was jockeying for
a spot at the departure curb of Garre du Nord, and braving that gauntlet was as
close to a demolition derby as the Dragon Chic cared to get, but trooper that
she is, at times, she braved the daunting charge across traffic in the
following manner:
Eeekkkk… oooooffffff Yoooowieeee…
Eeeeeekk!
And she was across, while
the poor meek Middle Eastern couple, originally in front of us with the 5 bags,
were still trying to find a hole in the chaos.
Once inside, finding the
right platform and train took a little doing since it wasn’t yet listed on the
overhead screens but we spotted a line with a small sign – 1527-Amsterdam
Central and stood there about 20 minutes until they opened security.
X-ray, metal detectors and
all…
“Yes Chuck… I'll remember
the bag[s] this time.”
Of course Chucky forgets
to put his phone in the bin and…
BZZZZZZZZZ.
“Please step over here
Monsieur, – may I check you? – OK – Cest si Bon -- Have a nice trip”
And we begin to look for
coach 16 - which does not appear to be here.
Are we on the right platform… let’s check.
Chucky approaches Miss
Grim Faced Rail Station Attendant showing her his ticket and is greeted with a
stern:
“Bonjour?”
Ooopppppsssss… HE forgot
to say Bonjour and was being reprimanded by Miss Grim Face- Glare-at-the-Gauche-American
Rail Station attendant Lady.
“Excusez Moi… Bonjour!
Ou est entraineur 16, S’il Vous Plait?”
And Grimmy points
waaaaaayyyyyy down there, “Il est a la Fin.”
[All the Waaaaayyyy at the
other end] past the train we’re in front of.
Sort of like the
airport.
ONCE… Just once, we would
like to get Gate #1 and not Gate #235.
This trek is almost as
long as the trek to the Louvre, well not quite, but still long with M.r “I Can
Pack Tight” and his heavy LUGGAGE.
Once at Coach 16, it’s a
chore to get them across the chasm between the platform and up onto the train
and then into the overhead. Of course
Chucky now has to extract all his electronic paraphernalia for blog writing
during the 3 hour trip, power converter, plugs, laptop, mouse, phone chargers
and a partridge in… {Enough with the DAMN BIRD… Dammit!}. Fortunately the train has AC power and he
gets a post done before his sleepless night catches up and he needs to nod off
for an hour… or maybe not. He still can’t
find a comfortable spot but does manage to get a 30 minute power nap and…
“Mesdames et Messieurs –
Amsterdam Central – end of the line, we hope you have enjoyed your journey with
Thalys.” [The train line]
The lug off the platform
was short, then down the escalator to the Looooong hall out of Central Station
and into Bright Sunny Amsterdam.
Now… Chucky has studied
map after map… route after route, to the flat on Heintje Hooksteeg.
It sure didn’t look this
long, “only 5 minutes” said our host… [She didn’t have Chucky’s Tightly packed
LUGGAGE!]
Yeah? Don’t ask the Dragon Lady her assessment of
the trek… especially after he rolled past their alley way since it has no
markings coming, only going which obviously is not visible at the standard
Chucky Gallop – Heavy load and all.
After getting halfway to
Dam Square in the Centrum] he realizes they went too far and as they backtrack,
to the {Grumble…. mumble… Damn L’il Italian Navigator man} chorus in the
background, he spots the street sign, high on the wall of Teddy’s Tavern –
another landmark he missed - and they turn right into the alley to the flat.
A ring of the Bell at #12 summons
Rui and Nami – friends of our Host - who let us in to see… the stairs… or is
that a ladder?!?
No, they really are stairs
and they go up at a 70 degree angle, Typical Dutch stairs that Chucky was
trying to avoid when he purposely looked for lodgings on the ground floor only
to now realize that the 1st floor in Dutch listings is actually the
2nd floor to an American.
Oh Welllllll.
This WILL be a challenge,
however, the lovely Rui and Nami assist in
Lugging the LUGGAGE up the ladder… er… uhh… Stairs and into the flat which, as
Dragon Chic later commented, “Really left her Flat”.
Once again, the pictures
on the listing are grossly misleading and the note on the mini-fridge indicates
that the shower/toilette/sink combo will have a wet floor for some time after
the shower because “the Water Drains Slowly” hence the large floor squeegee in
the corner of the shower. Oh Joy!!!
Suffice it to say… he is
now getting THE LOOK, and the Grumbling restarts.
In His defense, he was
trying to find something close to both the Ship’s dock and the Central station,
that wasn’t a $450 hotel room and had good reviews and was clean. Apparently all the reviews must have been
from Bohemian travelers of a much younger age with much lesser expectations. What was even more off-putting was the host’s
cavalier attitude when we discussed some of the lacking features and missed
expectations.
But hey… they can handle
it for 2 nights, it is after all clean, near a laundry and they're too tired
after the trek from Central Station.
Getting to the boat will probably be taxi or Uber.
After settling in we strike
out to scope out the neighborhood which bordered the Red Light District and
while it appeared a little seedy, was really quite quaint. Except for the roving groups of Euro 2016
FAN-ATICS [hey… aren’t you guys supposed to be in Paris with the rest of the
drunks?] After debating the type of cuisine
for the night we chose Het Karbeel, a typical Dutch style fondue
House to try some typical Dutch offerings.
They had Grolsch on tap so
that was a good start. We ordered what
they refer to as a pancake, more like a thick crepe with apple and cinnamon
just for a nosh and then a nice Gouda/Camembert/Sundried Tomato fondue and took
to sopping it up with a great crusty baguette.
Not bad… not Great, just enough to carry us over if we don’t get the munchies
later.
Then we were off for a
stroll around the other side of the canal to check out Damrak, the main drag
from Central Station straight to Dam Square, past most of the canal boats,
finally picking one for an interesting cruise around central A’dam with
commentary and anecdotes, all for the princely sum of e20. After we returned to the dock we decided the
e50/pp dinner cruise or even the e30/pp late night wine and cheese cruise, both
of which had been considered, weren’t worth it from a sightseeing perspective
since most of it was covered by this “cheapo” tour.
Time to head back to the
Flat-Flat, catch up on NOWAT, and some of the sleep he didn’t get last
night.
Lealu, our Guide for
tomorrow will be waiting at the Stock Market Sq at 1030 waving an orange
Pom-Pom with the promise that she planned on Really Walking us.
Go Ahead… try to scare us,
we’re fierce walkers [especially without Tightly Packed LUGGAGE!]
Tomorrow, a Marvelous look
at Amsterdam with “That Dam Guide.” Lealu.
Ciao Voor Nu,
Uncle Chuck & The Really giving him The
LOOK now
Dragon Lady
Dragon Lady
No comments:
Post a Comment